Oh, Please


Oh, Please.

I’ve been holding back on this for a while, but I just got inspired to let go and tell you what I really think. The thing that inspired me was a post that a certain female celebrity put on Facebook, basically dissing other women for “having work done” and not “growing old gracefully.” (And, by default, opening the door for her fans to congratulate her for being so wise and so fabulous). And, of course, it gave all 463 of them, at last count, a little forum to express their own distaste for women who are so vain they cannot just learn to love their wrinkles, which they should see as “badges of honor that they have earned.” This is starting to feel like the early days of the Women’s Movement when you weren’t liberated unless you had hairy armpits.

Oh, please! Just give me a break. I see this kind of thing a lot these days. It comes across to me as snarky and snide. There was a rant the other day about letting your hair go grey. This one went on and on, too. Let me say here that I truly don’t care if women let their hair go grey, or decide for whatever reason not to do any of the things I choose to do to make myself look and feel better. Frankly, I think most women do look much better without grey hair. Sorry. Yes, I know, I know, Emmy Lou looks marvelous, and so do a few others. I have a few personal friends who have pulled it off pretty well. But most of us, especially us blondes, just look ratty. But, how would I know? I’m so vain I haven’t seen my natural hair color since I was fourteen. Thank God for hair color and make-up. And contact lenses. And nail polish. And, in the summer, “tan in a can.” And skin care products. And for everything else that I can find and afford to do to make me happier with the way I look. That includes Botox and fillers. It also includes somehow getting the funds together to have had a face and eyelid lift quite a few years ago, which was one of the best things I ever did for myself. And note that I said I did it for myself. I am not trying to fool anyone, and I am proud of having made it for seventy years, and look forward to many more. I agree that there are people who do way too much and take it way too far, but that is true of almost anything. If you use good judgment, do some research, and don’t get excessive with it, you won’t end up looking like a freak. The picture I have included here was taken 1 month after having my Botox and fillers done and 3 months before my 70th birthday. I don’t feel that my use of these technologies has kept me from being able to show expression in my face, and I certainly don’t think that coloring my hair prevents me from “growing old gracefully.”

However, I will admit I hate that expression and what it seems to imply. Maybe I don’t want to “grow old gracefully.” Maybe I want to add each and every day as an adventure, getting a kick out of stirring things up a bit. As far as someone else–do or don’t do whatever you like–just don’t get all righteous and judgmental about us gals who choose to fluff it up one (or two) more times.

8 thoughts on “Oh, Please

  1. Rock on soul sister! No wonder jill adores you. Great blog.
    You look totally amazing so whatever you’re doing is working
    quite well!

  2. I’ve never been a person of few words. I have to say more because you dared to say what I think. I always assumed that I would gently glide into the short,permed gray hair that our mothers,grandmothers and aunts sported. I thought I would accept the middle age spread and slip in to those elastic waste polyester pants. Thank God I inherited dad’s frame,but also his jowls,ugh. As I said before,my boys call you,what grandpa would be if he were hot and female. I never got there. No perms,no gray and I love fashion. Can’t shake it. Don’t want to. My hair is blonde. Not giving that up. Been thinking about the eyelid thing for a few years and now am going to find away to make that happen. You are awesome. Made my damn day. Gray,short and permed hair? Oh please.

  3. I love what Carmen Dell Orefice said on the supermodel documentary about growing old. “If the ceiling was caving in, you would fix it, right?” Maybe it is a sense of vanity or self pride that moves us towards superficial choices. Whatever the cause may be, I’ve always taken to heart your advice. If it makes you feel better, go for it. 🙂

  4. Just now catching up with some of your thoughts…… good thoughts….. better motto…… I like “live and let live” much better than “grow old gracefully” !

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