Three-way; Doggie Style

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Three-Way; Doggie Style

Well, now that I have your attention, let’s talk about some serious lovin’. I don’t care how much you try to deny it, I know that if you’re a couple with a dog you’ve got some serious three-way action going in the bedroom. (If you have more than one dog, we’re talking orgies). And if your situation is like ours, the pooch is always in the middle, being coy and cute. Some evenings you just gather round the sweet creature in the middle and have a big cuddle fest, right? And it’s so cool. No jealousy, no weird ego problems, just unconditional puppy love. Now, you may be one of those households where you feel the need at this point to assert that in your home the animal is not allowed on the furniture. Fido always sleeps in the crate….We would never….So sad for you, Margaret. You obviously needed to have children….Well, that’s all well and good, but I fear our friendship can only develop so far, because in my book your heart is shut way too tightly. I believe in lovin’ on that puppy every day, all day if possible. I think that couples who let their pups up in the bed just expand their love for each other. One of my favorite writers, David Sedaris, has an essay that deals with couples and their relationship with their pets and each other, “Talking Through the Hamster.” The theory here is that some couples communicate with each other by pretending the pet is speaking. I would just expand this into “Loving Through the Pup.” When I see Fred loving Pinky I feel like I just got a big kiss myself. It might get a little weird for me to hang around for hours and talk baby talk while I sniffed Fred’s feet, but Pinky thinks that is just what the doctor ordered. So come on, people. I know you’re out there. Don’t deny it, just own it.

One thought on “Three-way; Doggie Style

  1. I totally agree about loving your pets (a.k.a. furry children). We don’t let our 95lb. German Shepard in our bed for obvious reasons (she has her own bed) but our cat snuggles with us and we both love it.

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